Last year during the height of Covid I started having occasional nightmares and crazy dreams, I read that this was quite common with lots of people. But in the last few days I have had nightmares for three nights in a row. This is very unusual for me. I actually woke myself up screaming the other night. I think it scared poor Scruffy half to death.
I started trying to write down the dreams as soon as I woke up to see if they had any meaning in the light of day. Maybe some similarities in the dreams.
I discovered a pattern in the dreams and they all had to do with self doubt, insecurity, fear, and frustration. But I guess that is what most nightmares and bad dreams are made up of in one way or another. Whether you are being chased by a chain-saw carrying psycho or just fear of everything else.
I have experienced feelings of self doubt, insecurity fear, etc etc. during COVID but I realized that COVID isn’t the only thing making me feel this way. And it may not be for you either if you are experiencing any of these feelings in your day to day. I think COVID added into the mix just put the feelings and emotions on steroids or something.
I have been on a better eating plan and tried to cut out mindless eating. I think when you do that you become more in tune with what is actually going on around you. It’s called clarity. You are no longer numbing yourself to avoid feelings. So lots of things start to come out. I think those probably get carried over in our dreams.
One of the dreams I had was that I was repeatedly dropping things and no sooner than I picked them up I would drop them again. I couldn’t hold onto anything. Over and over. I was also trying to open a combination lock and although I knew the combination I couldn’t get it open. I guess it doesn’t take much to figure those out. In my dreams doing that left me feeling like I couldn’t do anything. I felt inadequate and helpless. Those were just the beginning, the waking up screaming part of the dreams involved people crawling out of mirrors and coming after me. It sounds kind of like “The Ring” although I was actually too scared to ever watch that movie.
I realized that I have been feeling self doubt about certain things in my life. I find myself questioning decisions and the ability to get things done. This leads to uncertainty and of course self doubt. I have always been a very secure person so this has come as quite a surprise.
But I also realized that there are many things to factor into feeling this way. Age, hormones, my job and anxiety are just a few of these. I guess COVID and all that surrounds that could just be the icing on the,, zombie. I’m not really sure.
I do know that discovering a pattern in the dreams brought them into the daylight and has helped me realize some of my insecurities. And just that small thing makes them not quite so scary. Putting it into words also helped and I would highly recommend this if you are having bad or strange dreams. You may get an insight into yourself.
Sweet dreams!! and always remember
Love your day your way!!!