Hello friends,

Last week was a very sad week. I had to say goodbye to one of my sweet kitties, Sadie. We always called her Shady Sadie because she was so elusive. She would stay out all night and wander in at all hours. We would stay up half the night trying to get her to come into the garage and out of the path of coyotes.

Little Sadie was close to four years old. Back in 2022 her mom, Allie cat, came to us and within a week had brought back her four kittens. Milo and Buster, the two males lived with us for about nine months before Milo was taken by a coyote and then Buster disappeared. We fear that a coyote also got Buster. That left Allie cat and her two girl babies, Sadie and Izzy. We started corralling them and putting them in the garage every night where they would be safe. Sadie always gave us a rough time. Some nights she would come in easily and others we would be up half the night trying to get her in.

A strange thing is that all of these kitties have remained fairly feral. They would never let us pet and love on them. When it came time to taking them to the vet it was a Herculean effort. They are so different than our inside babies, Gus and Kitty Kitty.

The weekend before last I noticed that Sadie was very lethargic. This was so unlike her. She would lay on the driveway for hours. When it got hot she would move to the shade and finally into the garage. I also noticed she would not sleep next to her mom and sister. Also unlike her. On Sunday afternoon I walked up to her and actually picked her up and she didn’t try to claw me. I knew something was up. I noticed then how thin she had become.

On Monday morning I called the vet and they got us in pretty quick. They did a series of tests and came back with bad news about her blood being very low. They said she needed a blood transfusion before they could really do any other testing. They called University of Tennessee Vet Clinic and they had cat blood, so we took off for Knoxville. It is about an hour from me.

We went through the emergency entrance and they took her right in. They needed to do a lot of blood work to find out why her body was not making blood. Of course the word cancer was put out there as a high probability. I had to leave my sweet girl there for the night. I knew how scared she was and it killed me to leave her.

For the next day and a half they ran tests on Sadie. Sometimes the updates were hopeful and sometimes not. Finally late on Tuesday they called and told me they had the oncology results and she had a very rare form of cancer. I had a couple of options. Bring her home and give her meds that “might” keep her alive another two weeks or do nothing and she would live a few days. They also told me I could just let them put her down there while she was at the hospital.

I can’t begin to tell you how hard this has been to go through without Mark. Not having him to share ideas and thoughts and ideas what should we dos. I called my sister and my niece and got their thoughts. I decided to go ahead and let Sadie go. If I had brought her home she would have had to be kept in the bathroom so I could give her meds. She would have hated that. She was truly a free spirit. Fortunately this type of cancer is not hereditary.

My sister and I drove to Knoxville the next morning. We got to see Sadie and pet and love on her. I had never been able to do that. I told her to go and be with dad and Milo and Buster and Scruffy and Molly, and she did. I told her we would all join her soon. It was quick as she crossed the Rainbow Bridge. I can only imagine how happy Mark was to see her.

So I have shed a million tears this past week. I know I had to do what was right for her but it hurt so unbelievably bad.

Sweet Sadie, Fly high sweet wild girl until we see you again.

Always remember

Love your day your way!!!!

Hello friends and happy Monday. I want to get back to a regular posting schedule. I think it will be good for me. Also, my Word Press subscription renewed and I hate wasting money. And I miss all of my blogging buddies so much. I still read many of your posts but I am a bit behind.

I shared with you on my last post about losing my sweet husband. If you missed it you can read it here. I am trying to navigate this life without him and I will be honest, at times it is unbearable. It is such a new world for me and one that I did not want to be a part of. I will carry on. I know he would want me to. I just don’t know how to do it yet.

Unfortunately before the end of the year we had more loss. My oldest brother Donnie passed away three days before Christmas. In November he suffered from what we thought was a stroke but it turned out he had several lesions on his brain that were cancer. He did ten radiation treatments that we hoped would slow the progression of the cancer but it really didn’t. He came home with hospice about two weeks before Christmas and had all of us with him for his last days. We also lost my sister in law Pat, not my brother Donnie’s wife, the day after Christmas. She was diagnosed a few months ago with ALS which is just a terrible disease. She had actually had a lot of the symptoms for over a year. We had two funerals within a week. Sometimes it’s just too much.

The babies are so much comfort to me. Bunnie, our big Golden Retriever who came to us back in June, is getting as big as a house. She has also become even more needier than ever, if that’s even possible. She is still terrified of people and I am trying to work on socializing her more. We take short trips in the car and come right back to the house. I am hoping this helps.

All of the kitties are fine. I know that Gus and Kitty Kitty miss Mark. They still look for him at times. I don’t think the outside kitties really realize what is going on but they have been extra sweet.

I have been at home a lot. I am back at work pretty much full time and it helps to have the structure. Otherwise I am at home. I watch too much T.V. and scroll my phone but I think I just do what I can do to survive. I worked several jigsaw puzzles during the last few months and I have gotten back to knitting and crochet. I attended a twelve week grief share at a local church in town. It helped somewhat. I take lots of walks with Bunnie. She needs at least two walks a day for all of her energy. I also take a lot of pictures.

Something I have discovered about grief is that it truly has many many layers. I have unbelievable brain fog. I actually lost my drivers license, my phone and my glasses all in one day. I eventually found all of them and they were not all in the same place. I found my glasses in the silverware drawer. Usually I have a melt down every time this happens.

So that is a bit about what I have been up to. How about you? How is your year starting out?

Always remember

Love your day your way!!!!!