A Long And Short Goodbye

For several months my little mother in law, Winona, has been slipping away from us. She broke her hip in February for the second time, yep same hip. While she was still in the hospital she developed Covid and wound up being in the hospital for two weeks. This would be a lot for anyone but for a ninety year old it was too much.

She never fully recovered. She was released to a full care nursing facility. She had some minimal therapy but she just didn’t want to do it. It was like she had given up. Those were the words we kept hearing over and over.

We knew the time was getting close. And as always, you expect it, but it still hits you like a ton of bricks when it happens. Monday night we got the call that she had slipped away. My husband had been with her earlier that evening and I’m glad he got to be there with her near the end.

If you could have known her you would know that she loved spending time cooking for her family and having us gather at her house. There was only a few of us, but she loved it. I had some of my best meals at her house.

She retired as a state healthcare worker after more than thirty years of service. She played the piano and organ like you wouldn’t believe. She played at church and for a local organization that she belonged to. She often traveled to different cities to play the piano. She told me that she was so happy her mother made her take piano lessons. She started playing as a child and played well into her eighties. She often told me that playing the piano was becoming a lost art.

When she was only nineteen years old she rode a Greyhound bus two hours each way to go into Knoxville to take business classes. She told me she did her homework on the bus and that the bus driver always flirted with her. She was a beauty.

She loved to entertain and she still has just about every serving dish you can imagine. She also loved jewelry and she has given me lots of vintage jewelry through the years.

When my husband and I were first married we lived next door to her. I would walk our dogs to her house every day and we would talk and talk.

In 2018 she fell and broke her hip for the first time. She was eighty four and still constantly on the go. She developed an infection while she was in the hospital and had to have three surgeries within two weeks. After being released she went to an assisted living village for rehab. She then moved to an assisted living facility closer to home. The goal was for her to be there for additional therapy until she could return to her home, where she lived alone. It never happened. She wouldn’t do her therapy. And because of that lack of therapy, she was never able to walk again. She was in a wheelchair. She occasionally used a walker but was very unsteady with it.

She adapted to every situation amazingly well. In the beginning I would take her to her house to stay during the day or for several hours and then she would return to the village. As time went by she cared less and less about doing that. She grew to feel more comfortable at the assisted living village. It became her home. We went for long drives and out to eat at drive-in restaurants, so she wouldn’t have to get out of the car. She then became less and less interested in doing that.

As time went by dementia took over. She often didn’t recognize me when I would first walk into her room. She thought I was one of the workers. She loved white chocolate and I combed the stores looking for her favorites. I recorded videos of our babies and let her watch them over and over. She loved seeing them.

She was feisty and never cared to tell you exactly what she was thinking. She would draw herself up to her full 4 feet and 11 inches and tell you like it was. It was just the way she was.

So for several years and then especially the last couple of months she has been slipping away. On Monday night she went to heaven to be with her loved ones who had gone before her. I feel like she is finally at peace and happy again.

I feel lost, almost not knowing what to do with myself. I should be going to see her, talking with her nurses, or taking her some supplies, or going through the mounds of paper work we have been dealing with concerning her long term care. It feels weird and I have lots of memories swirling through my head.

We had her funeral Friday morning. The thing I heard over and over was how welcoming she made people feel whenever they visited her, and how much she loved to laugh. I think that is a wonderful way to make people feel.

We say goodbye for now and look back on memories and experiences we have shared with her. And never forget.

Always remember

Love your day your way!!!