Hello friends this is a post I never expected to make.
It’s actually been ten weeks, four days and seven hours that I said goodbye to my precious husband and he left this earthly home for heaven.
I had mentioned in a previous post that he had been sick. He was diagnosed with a fungal pneumonia. With all of the anti rejection medications he had to take, because of the transplanted kidney, his system had a hard time fighting off anything. Over the course of a month which included a four day stay in the hospital he became increasingly worse. Nothing seemed to help and his fever was non stop. But we never thought he wouldn’t get better. I could see the look in the doctors’ eyes as they discussed the pneumonia with us. They told us it could be life threatening if they didn’t get the upper hand on the infection. He was at home the night things got really bad really fast. He was airlifted to Vanderbillt Medical Center. His body and heart had just had too much. The crazy thing was that through it all the kidney was still great.
All I can say is that it was pure hell. I can’t and won’t go into all the details because they’re just too painful to share. But my husband my best friend my confidant my soul mate is gone. I am now navigating my life without him here by my side. I don’t know how to do it. It feels like half of me is missing and it is. He is. And while I rejoice for him my heart is broken. I am alone.
He is everywhere. He completely fills every thought and memory that I have. That’s both agonizing and precious at the same time. We were together forty years, thirty five of those married. We dated for five years.
My husband was just the most wonderful, kind patient person in the world. People loved him and gravitated to him. He had an infectious smile and laugh. His co workers told me that when he came in every morning he would shout out a hearty “good morning everyone”. He had just retired in February and was loving it. I had planned to retire in December, but I will put those plans on hold for a little while. The plans we make are not always God’s plans.
I wanted to share the reason for my absence. I will continue to post. I know my husband would want me to. He knew how much I loved blogging.
I don’t think you could ever be prepared for losing your spouse. Any thought you might have could never compare to the reality when it happens. And you wouldn’t want to know.
So grab your husband or wife or partner and kiss them and tell them you love them a million times. The small arguable things don’t matter. Just enjoy each other every second.
Until we meet again sweet baby I will hold you near in my heart and honor you every chance I get. I will see you in every ray of light and know that you are still with me.
Always remember
Love your day your way
Southern Patches 
Dear Lisa, my heart is breaking for you. I know there is nothing I can say that will make things better, but I’m sending you hugs and keeping you in prayer. Take care, My Friend.
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Thank you so much. I think prayers are the only thing getting me through this right now. I am trying to focus on the wonderful years we had together and all the beautiful memories we made.
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I’m so very sorry. This is such a tough and unexpected lot to face. We will keep you in our prayers, and hope you will write and blog as you can.
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Thank you and yes please keep the prayers coming.
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Will do. Take care.
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Lisa – as I said elsewhere, so sorry for your loss. I know you have good support around you to help you through this period, but it is still a difficult time. Thoughts and wishes from Aotearoa New Zealand.
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Thank you again Barbara. I don’t know what I would have done without my precious family at this time.
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Lisa, this must have been agony to write. I am so sorry for your profound loss. You will be in my thoughts and thank you for the reminder to love even harder. Big hugs. ❤️
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Thank you Katie it was difficult to write but I felt it needed to be said. Yes we must remember to love all we can.
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Oh, my dear, dear Lisa. How my heart breaks for you. I can only offer my tearful condolences and hope that you find comfort in your memories and among your family and friends. Xo
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Thank you so much. This has been the most painful part of my life. But I am trying to focus on all the wonderful years we had together.
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There are no words to convey my feelings at this sad time. Sending hugs and saying prayers. xoxo
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Thank you Connie. That’s all we can do at this point. I so need the prayers.
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I came to your post via This week’s small pleasures (Barb). so so sorry to hear of your loss.
sherry https://sherryspickings.blogspot.com/
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Thank you so much Sherry
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Lisa, I’m so sorry for your loss. I hope you find comfort in your memories and support from your family and friends. Take care.
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Thank you Natalie
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My heart breaks as I read your post. I am so sorry for your loss. I am also strengthened by your resolve. I am comforted by your faith.
We will never be ready. I will grab him close and remember to cherish each moment with him.
Sending you a big hug.
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Thank you so much. It has been a really hard day today.
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I’m so sorry for your loss. Your husband sounds like he was an incredible man. Sending prayers and hugs your way. Stay strong, he will never leave you alone because he has always been a part of your heart, he is in there now. He is home now in the arms of Jesus but he is also in you, as well as Jesus…we carry and walk with them every day.
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Thank you so much for this comment. It has made my day. He is still with me and will live forever in my heart. Thank you. ❤️
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You’re very welcome. I have learned the closes I feel to the ones who are now walking with Jesus in person, the closes I feel to them is when I am walking in nature…that’s when it is quiet and peaceful enough to feel their presence inside of us, to feel the spirit of Jesus inside of us…and that’s where they are and that’s the love and peace they feel at 1.000 times more than us in that moment we get a tiny taste of that. Pure joy, pure happiness…and pure peace…that’s where they are full time now…in that. You will see your husband again, he just got a head start on things. If we are here, we still have our part to make this world and God’s children who are still in it, better, a better place for the ones who come after us, for those generations too. We still have something God needs us to do I always tell others when we loose someone we love so much…we still have work to do. As a really dear woman from my past, when I was a little girl always told me…”God only give us what He knows we can handle” stay strong, God knows you can handle a lot.
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Thank you so much. Your words have brought me so much comfort. ❤️
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I am so sorry about your loss. I found this post through Thistles and Kiwi. I too lost my husband 2.5 years ago in a vehicle accident. He was 36 and I was 35 at the time. One can never prepare themselves for that. It’s a horrible feeling. It feels like I got shipwrecked and I ended up in the middle of the ocean. Each time I was about to get up to grab on to whatever scrap to float, it felt like I was getting hit by a big wave (or multiple waves).
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Thank you so much and I am so sorry for your loss. I can’t imagine having a child to care for during this time. I’m sure it is both a comfort and strain at times. I agree about the waves. The pain and sorrow and many other feelings seem to come in waves.
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