Hello Monday

Hello friends and happy Monday. I want to get back to a regular posting schedule. I think it will be good for me. Also, my Word Press subscription renewed and I hate wasting money. And I miss all of my blogging buddies so much. I still read many of your posts but I am a bit behind.

I shared with you on my last post about losing my sweet husband. If you missed it you can read it here. I am trying to navigate this life without him and I will be honest, at times it is unbearable. It is such a new world for me and one that I did not want to be a part of. I will carry on. I know he would want me to. I just don’t know how to do it yet.

Unfortunately before the end of the year we had more loss. My oldest brother Donnie passed away three days before Christmas. In November he suffered from what we thought was a stroke but it turned out he had several lesions on his brain that were cancer. He did ten radiation treatments that we hoped would slow the progression of the cancer but it really didn’t. He came home with hospice about two weeks before Christmas and had all of us with him for his last days. We also lost my sister in law Pat, not my brother Donnie’s wife, the day after Christmas. She was diagnosed a few months ago with ALS which is just a terrible disease. She had actually had a lot of the symptoms for over a year. We had two funerals within a week. Sometimes it’s just too much.

The babies are so much comfort to me. Bunnie, our big Golden Retriever who came to us back in June, is getting as big as a house. She has also become even more needier than ever, if that’s even possible. She is still terrified of people and I am trying to work on socializing her more. We take short trips in the car and come right back to the house. I am hoping this helps.

All of the kitties are fine. I know that Gus and Kitty Kitty miss Mark. They still look for him at times. I don’t think the outside kitties really realize what is going on but they have been extra sweet.

I have been at home a lot. I am back at work pretty much full time and it helps to have the structure. Otherwise I am at home. I watch too much T.V. and scroll my phone but I think I just do what I can do to survive. I worked several jigsaw puzzles during the last few months and I have gotten back to knitting and crochet. I attended a twelve week grief share at a local church in town. It helped somewhat. I take lots of walks with Bunnie. She needs at least two walks a day for all of her energy. I also take a lot of pictures.

Something I have discovered about grief is that it truly has many many layers. I have unbelievable brain fog. I actually lost my drivers license, my phone and my glasses all in one day. I eventually found all of them and they were not all in the same place. I found my glasses in the silverware drawer. Usually I have a melt down every time this happens.

So that is a bit about what I have been up to. How about you? How is your year starting out?

Always remember

Love your day your way!!!!!