When You Look Fear In The Eyes

Hello friends, I know I start every post like this but man what another crazy week in our household. Actually a couple of crazy weeks.

About two weeks ago my husband told me he thought he had pulled a muscle in his lower back and abdomen. He thought he had done this from working out. After a few days he had such pain that he couldn’t sleep and had spasms along the front of his stomach. A few days later a rash broke out around his abdomen. If you have ever had the dreaded “shingles virus” you know where this is going. I am not going to bore you with the details of shingles. You can google them yourself. But having them is freaking horrible. Last Saturday night he finally came clean and told me how bad it was. He lifted his shirt and showed me the blisters and rash and I freaked the F out!!!!

Having a transplanted kidney does not make any situation that Mark has an easy one. Having shingles is no exception. I finally got him to go to the doctor on Monday morning. Well I practically had to haul his butt to the doctor but he was feeling so bad by that time he was willing to go. The doctor said it was the worst case of shingles she had ever seen. Of course. She said if he had come in the week before when the break out first started it would have been easier to deal with. Yep that’s my husband. At this point all I could do was glare at him. However, I am scared shitless. Could this affect the kidney? definitely if infection occurs. Could this lead to other issues with the kidney function? It could. Could the meds he will have to take interfere with the anti rejection drugs? They could. Add in the very fact it makes me feel ill to watch him go through the pain he is in. Of course it is never easy watching a loved one suffer, you know that. Why would he wait this long before seeing a doctor or letting me know how bad it was. I don’t know.

The local doctors were a little wary about prescribing a lot of meds until we heard from Vanderbilt. They were not nephrologists and they didn’t want to make that call. A trip to Vanderbilt may still be in our immediate future. I know the four hour trip each way would be hard on Mark but all of our doctors are there. Finally Vanderbilt called in meds to our local pharmacy and Mark started them today. Please pray for healing and comfort during the healing process. The next forty eight hours should tell us some things that we need to know.

So other than dealing with all of this and working between the doctor and pharmacy visits, things are as well as they can be. I try to stay busy when I am worried so that is what I am doing. My husband is my first priority. The babies still need to be cared for but taking care of the house and my job still has to be done also. But in the back of my mind I have a back up plan if we do have to go to Nashville and maybe plan a stay there. I have a plan for the babies, that is the most important part, and other than that we just have to take it as it comes. Did you notice I mentioned plan like three times. GEESH!!!! This is one of the hardest things for me. I want everything fixed before I realize there is a problem. That is not always possible. I think times like this humble us and make us realize just how precious life is and how the day to day boring is not always boring it is something we can cherish. We must take things one day at a time!!!!

**This sweet girl loves being on my lap and I love having the snuggles.**

A few years ago when my brother Allen was sick, he had leukemia, he told me that he hated hearing bad news from his doctor. Not just for himself but because he could see the fear in his wife, my sister in law’s, eyes. He said that scared him more than anything the doctor could say. WOW!!! those are some powerful words.

What do you look like when you look fear in the eyes? Are you positive? hopeful? scared? the person looking back may need you to be their only courage.

Friends, always remember

Love your day your way!!!

Sunday Morning Rain Is Falling

Happy Sunday friends it is Sunday morning and I am watching the rain out the window and feeling rather cozy in my cocoon . It sort of reminds me of the song by Maroon 5. (Sunday morning, rain is falling Steal some covers, share some skin. Clouds are shrouding us in moments unforgettable). Well, there is no skin being shared unless you count Scruffy and I snuggled in the chair watching Food Network HA HA!! I don’t know why I love this channel so much it makes me so hungry. It also makes me want to cook. I have a confession. I love to make pies but I never make my own pie crust. I buy the crust at Walmart in the frozen food section. It is just so easy. Mark has a friend, David, who makes his own pies and pie crust and the pies seem to taste so much better. I think I will have to try it. I will let you know how it turns out.

Can anyone else believe that it is almost July? That is crazy!!! I had to work six days straight this past week and it was very tiring. Not just physically but mentally as well. With all the COVID regulations and then hearing people complain about them it is so hard to know what to do or feel about it. Also, I had a friend coming over on Saturday so I had to clean my house. You know what I’m talking about. I got up early a couple of mornings and did some cleaning before work. As I was cleaning and mopping and dusting I was thinking I really should have people over more often, maybe I would keep my house cleaner. Anyway we had a great time we laughed and talked and talked and ate. I baked homemade bread, and a chocolate cake. I also made a dip called crack dip, it is called that because it is so addictive. I made a delicious pitcher of Ruby Relaxers, this is a very tasty light cocktail that is great for summer. We took a long walk with Scruffy and Molly and it was just a wonderful day.

Kitty Kitty has a new favorite sleeping spot. On my couch in the den on my afghan of course.

This one constantly needs attention!!!

Such beautiful flowers this time of the year. Vibrant colors are everywhere!!

I Pass this on my way to work every day. Of course I had to stop and get a pic.

Things are still a bit crazy in the world. Mark and I had planned a beach vacation later in August but I am not sure about it now. So many of the beaches are reporting record numbers of COVID and I am hearing that some beaches may close. I am not sure about going. We will see. I know we will have no problem social distancing. We rarely see a lot of people and we pretty much stay to ourselves. The beach we go to is very secluded. I will share it with you later this week. We have gone there for many years. It is our favorite beach.

This is my favorite beach. I am doing a post on it this week. I hope to be able to go later this year.

We have had such mild weather lately. This past week the temps have only been in the low 80’s and that has been wonderful. But I saw the forecast for the upcoming week and I think it is going to be really hot. As a matter of fact I just stepped outside and it is hot and humid. My glasses fogged up. Welcome to East Tennessee.

I hope you have a wonderful week.

Always remember

Love your day your way!!!

What Is Wrong With Being Idle?

Hello friends, how are you and how has your weekend been? I have had a really good one. It has been both relaxing and busy. You know what I mean? I had to work yesterday and that is a bit different. I usually am off on the weekends but I may have mentioned before that one of my mangers has been having some health issues and has been in the hospital and that leaves us a bit short handed.

Anyway, I worked yesterday, Saturday, I was off for a half day on Friday so I did my grocery shopping and errand running then in anticipation of having my Sunday free to do whatever I wanted.

I talked to my sister a couple nights ago and she said the same thing. ” On Sunday I am not going to do anything work related, I am going to do some things for me, YAY!!!!! I haven’t talked to her so I am not sure how that went for her.

For some reason I always feel a little guilty when I don’t do anything. Are you like that? I feel like I have to be doing “something” productive all the time. WHAT??? who can do that???

I wonder why we feel like we are only productive when we are busy? Taking time for us is just as important and productive. Working on things that may have no end or is just something we love to do is good!!! Right??

So today I didn’t get up until 7:00 AM which is really unusual for me. I watched some TV and snuggled with my Scruffy. (See the photo below) I knitted, I did laundry and I mopped the kitchen. I also made sure I had some more extra time for me. That is what a day of rest should be. Doing something that you like to do. Sometimes being idle is my best way of recharging and getting ready for the week ahead.

Poor Scruffy needs a haircut and he is getting one tomorrow. Can’t wait!!! He loves being snuggled in mommy’s arms. He looks at me so adoringly!!! I just love him.

My Kitty Kitty. Just watching her brings me peace and calm.

I made homemade biscuits and put some fresh strawberries on them. What a wonderful treat.

I think I had a wonderfully productive, restful day and I enjoyed it thoroughly!!!!!

Always remember

Love your day your way!!!

And Then Time Stopped.

Have you been tested for COVID-19? The tests are free and they are done now quite frequently. In the beginning you could only be tested if you had symptoms even if you had been directly exposed. It could take days to get scheduled for a test and then up to a week to get the results.

With more and more tests becoming available all of that has changed, in our area anyway, I am assuming it is everywhere. People are encouraged to get tested before returning to work, if they have been exposed to someone who has tested positive or had been around someone who has tested positive.

I spent a lot of time in quarantine. I wear my mask. I have been very very careful. I haven’t been anywhere I haven’t had to be. I haven’t been to a restaurant in over three months. I just got take out for the first time a couple of weeks ago. So I have felt fairly safe. The virus was sort of a bad dream that was in the back of my mind. I knew it was real but I didn’t know anyone who had even tested positive. Sure I watched the news and saw and heard the horror stories but I also knew a lot was being told that might not be true.

And then last week I had to hit the brakes. I received a text that someone I had been in contact, even though it probably wasn’t even within six feet, had been in contact with someone who had tested positive. I froze, what should I do? Should I wait until they got tested and see if they were positive? I called our local health department, I have a friend who works there and she said yes better to get tested and be safe, and set up a time for a test that afternoon. Luckily we had not opened back up at work at this time.

I went to the health department and joined the line of cars with people waiting to be tested. It took about thirty minutes to get to the tent where the nurses were administering the tests. It was really warm that day and they had on head to toe covering with a mask and a plastic shield over their faces. I felt so much compassion for them. They were hot. It was dusty from all of the cars going through. But the nurse doing the tests came bouncing out to the car and did my test quickly and with a kind word and such a great attitude. I then went on my way. They told me I should find out the next day but because it was a weekend it might take an extra day. It did.

I went home and started to worry about my husband, who takes immunosuppressants. I knew that I had been around him all week and if I tested positive then he probably would too. It almost seemed like time had stopped. I could barely think rationally.

I will say that even though I thought the odds were low that I would test positive I still had that worry in the back of my mind. I tried to stay busy on Sunday to keep my mind off of it. Early Monday morning the fear that I felt had escalated. I was doing the what if? what if? Just a couple of hours later the health Department called and told me I was negative. I couldn’t believe the relief that I felt.

I had to think about my friend Lori who works at our local hospital in the ER department. She is on the front line and she has been tested a couple of times. I know how she worries each time. It doesn’t stop her from doing her job day after day. These people amaze me and I am so very appreciative of them. Their fear is an everyday thing.

I guess there is nothing to say to tie this up in a neat bow. I am trying to say that the fear is real, the threat is still there. It really hit home with me when I was tested. And I expect, before this situation gets better, I may have to be tested again.

The Day Lilies are blooming. New growth always makes me feel hopeful.