Warning: This is just the ramblings of an old errrrr older southern woman.  Yeah that’s right.

I attended a funeral this past week. A young woman in our town passed away. I was not a good friend of hers but her daughter was part of my work staff. My husband was work friends with her husband so yes I knew her. I knew that she was an amazing woman, mother, wife, daughter, aunt,  friend, co-worker. This woman was only 40 years old with so much life ahead of her. She was diagnosed with cancer three weeks ago and before anything could be done she died.

I do know that this woman was loved.  You could hear it in every comment, every tear that was shed, every story about her, every hug to her family and in one way or another every person that was present.

There were hundreds of people there to pay their respects. The small funeral home in our hometown was probably overwhelmed with the amount of people crammed into this small building. Actually there was a line of people that wrapped around the building. In the south we call this “the receiving of friends” it is usually held in the evening for a couple of hours and then the graveside service is held the following day. You go to the local funeral home and stand in a line and socialize with people you haven’t seen in a while and make the obligatory remark “It’s good to see you I wish it wasn’t under these circumstances” and “why must we wait until times like this to get together?”  Yes why indeed?  You may hear comments like “ohhhh the flowers were amazing” and “we couldn’t believe the turnout”.

Do you ever wonder who will come to your funeral? Do you care?  I am curious.  I know this probably sounds narcissistic but don’t tell me it hasn’t crossed your mind. I think this is something that comes to mind when you realize you are probably more than halfway through your life.

Does the good works of someone or maybe how many friends they have or what they have contributed to their community determine how many people will come to pay their respects when they die? Maybe it is because they have a large family and lots of their friends are coming to pay respects. I know it isn’t the age of someone because it seems the older people get the less friends and loved ones they still have around.  Does it matter? NO. You will not even know. But still I think about it when I attend a service.

Lord knows it can’t be based on how many Facebook or Instagram, or any other social media site, followers you have. You can run into “them” at the grocery store and they don’t even recognize you, or feel familiar enough to speak to you.

My husband refuses to attend most funeral services.  I tried to explain that it is not for the deceased but for their living family members.  It is a show of respect for them. At least I hope this is some of what it means to most people.

Sometimes I think we attend because we think we should. I certainly wouldn’t want someone to attend my funeral because they “think they should”. If this means only two or three really close friends or family attend mine then I’m ok with that. And I hope they bring balloons and ice cream and cake. And daisies. Those are all my favorites. And even if I can’t enjoy those things then I will know that someone else has.

Love your day your way!!!

Hello friends how are you? Things here have once again been a little crazy. If you are old like me you remember those commercials advertising bubble bath or bath salts or something like that called Calgon. The commercials showed a very stressed woman trying to do about ten different things at one time. She grabs her head and yells “Calgon take me away”. It then shows her in a luxurious bubble bath with all of her problems dissolving away with each pop of a bubble. The famous Calgon bubble bath could transform you into a new person. I used to say it at work every time things got stressful. “Calgon take me away!!!!! ” One of my very young co-workers once asked, Lisa, who is this Calgon and when is coming to take you away? so cute, I had to explain that no Calgon actually was not a person.

This was my typical Calgon morning yesterday:  I was running a little late to start with. I was going to wear jeans to work and decided at the last minute to wear a pair of black pants. I changed the jeans but noticed I then had very obvious VPL showing through the black pants. I raced up the stairs to change underwear. Ran back downstairs and grabbed my car keys and purse and jumped in the car. As I was backing up the driveway I noticed everything looked a little blurry. I didn’t have my glasses on!!!! I Drove back down the hill, I have a very long driveway, ran back into the house and ran upstairs to get my glasses. By this time the dogs are going wild with all the excitement. After all they don’t usually see mommy running through the house.  Was this some kind of crazy game mommy was playing? Scruffy is barking and my big outside dog Molly is trying to get in the back door. My husband is standing in the middle of the kitchen shaking his head. I put my glasses on and ran back to the car. I jump in the car, which I had left running, and started again to back up the driveway. My car alarm immediately started and a light on my dash started blinking letting me know my keys were not inside the vehicle. Dang!!! I left them in the kitchen when I went to get my glasses. Again I drive back down the driveway and run to the back door and beat on the door, remember I have no key to get in. Scruffy starts going wild inside the house, barking and barking. I am praying Mark hasn’t jumped in the shower and won’t hear me knocking. Luckily he hasn’t and he comes to the back door and let’s me in. I run in looking like a crazed woman yelling my keys my keys!!! By this time big girl Molly, our outside dog, has run into the house and is galloping back and forth like a pony. Scruffy is running in circles barking and Kitty Kitty is streaking back and forth through the kitchen. I grab the keys and run back out the door. My husband just stands there like, what was that? By this time my hair is frizzy from sweat and humidity and my makeup has partially melted off from all the exertion.   Yes Calgon take me away!!!!!

Sunday was Mother’s Day as you well know.  I am not a mother and my mother died sixteen years ago.  I was never a big fan of Mother’s Day.  I admire mothers, they have the hardest job in the world.  I am glad there is a day to celebrate them.  Although we know they should be celebrated every day.  Mother’s Day is always uncomfortable for me.  I quit going to church on Mother’s Day a long time ago because I didn’t feel like I deserved the little gift they gave to all the mothers.  I am not a mother.  Most people just assume when you reach a certain age that you are a mother.  It is something that never happened for me and I don’t feel the need to explain that when I go to church and a fresh faced youngster hands me a rose or a pin or something like that.  I would always take the gift and then feel like I was an imposter.

With that said I will tell you that my mother was the best mother in the world.  I never called her mother a day in my life.  I always called her mama or mom.  I  know you may think your mother was the best but mine really was.  She loved to wear red lipstick.  She wore dresses and skirts a lot and she loved sandals.  She worked the really hard crossword puzzles with an ink pen. She could grow anything. She could also fix any appliance or plumbing problem.  Her cooking was to die for. She was the best friend I ever had.  I always felt like I could tell her anything.  She always encouraged me to do things I was sometimes afraid to try.  She always made me feel like I was the most beautiful girl in the world.  I think I was about eleven before I realized that wasn’t true.  It came as somewhat of a shock but made me love her all the more for making me think that.

  This is a picture of me and my mama shortly before she died. The picture is not the best quality and you can tell she is not in the best of health here.

So Mother’s Day is a little sad for me mostly because I miss my mom. And maybe wondering how things might have been different for me as a mom. I am happy for and appreciate all mothers. My sisters, nieces, aunts and friends are some of the most wonderful mothers I know.  I get a glimpse of motherhood when I dote on my nieces and nephews and now my great nieces and nephews. Getting the opportunity to do things with them has always been so much fun. I go to their ballgames and school events. Me and my husband are taking my seventeen year old nephew to Germany with us next month. Spending time with them sometimes makes me miss being a mom but for the most part I am ok with things the way they are. That may sound selfish but it is my life.

Anyway enough of that.  The rest of the week has been o.k.  I am reading a book for book club and am about halfway finished.  I have also been house sitting for my sister a few days this week while she is on vacation.

Daisies are blooming in my yard.

I love daisies they may be plain and simple but they are my favorite flowers or weeds? I don’t care what they are I love them and they are beautiful.  I remember me and my friends used to mutilate them playing, he loves me he loves me not.  Remember that little game where you would pull off each daisy petal while saying, “he loves me he loves me not”.  You would always get that special boy in your mind that you wanted to love you and hope against hope it ended on, he loves me!!!!  Ahhh if it were only that easy.

This is the book we are reading for book club on Monday night.  I can’t wait to hear what everyone has to say.  I think it’s pretty good and makes you think about how you shouldn’t be so hard on yourself.

I will leave you with this picture.  Last weekend I made cherry cobbler for breakfast just because I wanted cherry cobbler for breakfast. It was delicious!!!

Because remember you must always

Love your day your way