What Are You Afraid Of?

What are you afraid of? I think that everyone fears certain things, like losing a loved one, health problems, war, loss of a job, the corona virus and yes I am afraid of all of those things as well.

But I think that something that I fear even more is not living. I don’t mean dying I mean not living while I am here on this earth.

What if you live your whole life without taking a chance and trying new things. I will have to admit I am the world’s worst about holding back and not doing things because I am not sure how they will turn out. I guess that is most people.

I love to have new experiences, travel, see new things and have adventures but I want the safety behind it too. And then there are some people who get their “living” from family and home and helping others and that is all they want and need. Can you have it all? How?

My daddy worked for more than 40 years in a local steel mill. Through his years he worked just about every job there. He never went on a vacation. Sure he took a week off here and there but he never went anywhere. We would go to the lake for a picnic and fishing or to the mountains but never overnight. His family meant everything to him and he felt like the best he could do for us was work and work hard. He worked hard every single day to provide for us. He had 7 kids and all he could think of I’m sure is providing for us. He never saw the ocean. He never flew in a plane. I think I remember in all my childhood he called in sick maybe once or twice from work. It was really something if he didn’t go to work. He retired when he was 65 and he loved it!!!! He worked in his garden and puttered around the house, and drove my mama crazy ha ha. But he loved being at home and he especially loved it whenever any of his kids or his grandkids came to hang out. He loved telling stories about his days at the foundry.

Sadly he passed away only a few years after retiring. I never felt like he had enough time to just enjoy life and all he could do without having to get up at 5:00 AM and go into that plant. Even if it was just working in his garden and his yard. The day before he died he told me that there was nothing in this world as important as his family. It doesn’t matter what you can buy or have, it all comes down to family. He was lying in his bed and I was sitting beside him. We both knew his time was near. He pointed into the kitchen where my mama was and he said ” we have been married for 52 years, Lisa always be good to people and love and take care of your family. There is nothing else that important”. He died the next day but I will never forget those words.

So with all that said I think I am afraid of not being the best person I can be, I am afraid of being lazy about certain things, I am afraid of not living every day to its fullest. I am afraid of not enjoying life while I can.