I Gave My Husband A Kidney

It was a Thursday exactly ten years ago on this date February 24th 2011. It was 3:00 AM. My husband and I were about four hours from home in a hotel room in Downtown Nashville, TN. We had been awake most of the night. Several of our family members were staying in nearby rooms. At 5:00 AM we would all drive the short distance to Vanderbilt Medical Center and check in for surgery. My husband Mark was getting a new kidney and I would be the donor.

This picture was taken as we were leaving the hospital on the Sunday following the surgery. We were headed to a local hotel that would be our home for a couple of weeks.

My husband discovered he needed a kidney in the summer of 2010. He didn’t even know he was in kidney failure. A routine blood work-up revealed that he had a really high creatinine level. Many many more tests were done that summer into the fall and in October of 2010 he was put on the donor list to receive a new kidney.

Fortunately he did not have to wait long. I knew that we were the same blood type and I wanted to be tested to see if I might be a match. The doctors told us not to be too hopeful because the chances would only be about 15% that I would be a match. One test after another was given to me and I kept being compatible. The doctors decided not to test anyone else until I was ruled out as a donor match. We had to go through counseling and lots of the same tests but yet we had different doctors. Each doctor had to make a separate ruling on whether I would be eligible. Then when that decision was made by the individual doctors the results went before an entire panel of doctors at Vanderbilt.

My tests were finished in December of 2010. Mark did not have to spend one minute on dialysis and for this we are so very grateful. But we knew dialysis could happen if he got the flu or pneumonia or anything that could compromise his health.

So we waited and waited for the results. In mid January of 2011 we got the answer we had prayed for, I would be the donor. The surgery was scheduled for February 24th 2011. We had a lot of work to do before that day. We made arrangements to take time off from work. I would need to be out two to four weeks and Mark probably six weeks. We made arrangements to board our baby Patches our basset hound. We had to get a living will and a medical power of attorney. Normally I would have been Mark’s medical power of attorney, to make a medical decision about him if needed, and he would have been mine. But because we would both be having surgery at the same time we had to pick someone else. We chose my sister Sandy who was with us through the entire journey.

At 7:00 AM on the morning of the surgery date I was taken down first to the operating room and my kidney was prepared for the removal. At approximately 9:00 AM Mark was brought down to an adjoining room and he was prepped for his surgery. They took the kidney from me walked through the adjoining room and placed it into Mark’s abdomen. I guess if this had been Grey’s Anatomy this is where they would have dropped it HA!!!! I was really surprised that it was put in the abdomen but that is much simpler than putting it back in the original spot. So technically Mark had three kidneys. The other two have long quit working.

My surgery was done laparoscopically so my recovery time was very short. Mark’s recovery took a little longer. We spent three days in the hospital and left on Sunday. Since we had doctor visits three times a week to keep a check on the kidney we had to stay at the hotel in Nashville to be close to the hospital. If we had had the transplant closer to home we could have stayed at home and gone to the doctor visits from home. My two sisters, Sandy and Pat stayed there with us at the hospital for almost two weeks. They took care of us, took us to our appointments, did our laundry and brought us take out. They were and still are angels and we will never ever forget them.

We don’t have children so we named the kidney Baby Kay. We celebrate every year and this year Baby Kay is ten years old. Mark takes anti rejection meds every day and will for his entire life. He has done great. He works full time, works out and we travel with no problems. He sees his doctor three times a year. I am on no meds and I sometimes forget I only have one kidney. I can’t tell the difference.

There are 93,000 people on the kidney transplant list. Over 3,000 new patients are added to the kidney waiting list each month.
13 people die each day while waiting for a life-saving kidney transplant.
Every 14 minutes someone is added to the kidney transplant list.
The median wait time for an individual’s first kidney transplant is 3.6 years and can vary depending on health, compatibility and availability of organs.

Mark and I have been truly blessed with the path his transplant took. But there are so many many people needing a kidney to live. If you are ever faced with the decision to donate for someone I would encourage you to really consider it. At the very least I would encourage you to sign your driver’s license and discuss with your family if you choose to be a donor. I would be happy to share more of our experience with you.

I am linking with the weekly smile this week over at Trent’s World. Thinking about Baby Kay being ten years old and going strong makes me smilingly happy!!!!!

Always remember

Love your day your way!!!!

Happy Birthday To My Blog

Can you believe that Southern Patches is three years old!!! I am so happy that three years ago I had the courage to hit publish and launch my very first blog post.

I remember how nervous I was doing the first few posts. But it didn’t take me long to really start to love blogging.

I know that with YouTube and vlogging, blogging is not as popular as it used to be but I still love it and hope to continue for a long time.

I cringe sometimes when I look back at my first posts but that’s what it takes to learn. You just have to jump in there and do it and know it will get better.

I have published 213 blog posts over the last three years. This is a wonderful way to document day to day happenings in your life. I also like to take lots of pictures so this is a great way to store lots of my pictures.

I have met some wonderful people through this blog. People from different states and even different countries that I feel like are old and dear friends. I may have never met them if it hadn’t been for my blog.

If you are unsure about starting a blog I would definitely encourage you. I have had so much fun these last 3 years. I have learned so much about blogging and writing.

I picked out a few of my favorite posts and some of the posts that got the best response from readers. If you haven’t read them you might want to go back and check them out.

  1. Saying Goodbye to my brother Allen. Published 2-19-2018
  2. Making Fried Apple Pies Published 7-20-2020
  3. Sister Lunch. Published 8-14-2019
  4. It’s Blackberry Winter Published 5-6-2020
  5. In The Days Of COVID. Published 1-24-2021
  6. Strawberry Moon. Published 6-6-2020
  7. Fireflies In The Great Smoky Mountains Published 6-12-2020
  8. A Week In Chattanooga Published 10-9-2019
  9. Biltmore Estate At Christmas Published 12-13-2019
  10. Mainly In Maine Published 10-17-2018

Thank you so much for reading my blog. Does it make a difference in your life? Probably not but if I can share something that helps you along the way, makes you laugh, or share a recipe or experience that you like, that makes me so happy.

And always remember

Love your day your way

Clear The Clutter Clear Your Mind

I may have mentioned a few times how much I hate clutter. Yeah like a few hundred times probably. But I hate it. Clutter doesn’t seem to bother some people like my husband, and some of my co-workers. It has come to my attention that clutter makes me a less productive person. Clutter clutters my mind. Personal flaw?? maybe, but that’s just me.

Why do places get cluttered? Think about it. Is it stuff that we don’t need? We don’t have room for? or maybe clutter is just things that are not properly put away. Do we have somewhere to put it? and if not then why did we get it in the first place? Did we actually need it? If we come to a point where we don’t need said item why don’t we get rid of it? O.K. O.K. I am getting ahead of myself and causing my blood pressure to escalate. I will circle back to this.

When I was growing up we didn’t have clutter at our house. We lived in a tiny house and we didn’t have a lot of extra things so we didn’t have a lot of clutter. We used everything we had. That happens with seven kids. My mama cleaned constantly. She hated clutter even worse than I do. Maybe that’s where I get it. I always wondered why she made such a big deal about things being out of place. But now I see where she was coming from.

If you have a small space and you don’t have room for a ton of things why do you get them? Maybe it makes you feel better having something new, maybe a treat for you, maybe you bought more than you needed of something like for a project and it just gets pushed back into a closet or your garage when the project is finished. Maybe you have a sentimental attachment to something a long lost relative or friend, spouse or your child gave you and you just can’t part with it. This is where you have to make the decision of what to keep and what to let go. Of course you are going to keep some of those things. But if you are like me and my husband we have been in our house for over twenty years. We can’t continue to accumulate without letting go of some things.

I vowed to make this year the year I reduced the unused and un-needed things in our house. I have done pretty well so far. Every week I take several bags and or boxes to our local Good Will. Which in our area is called SAMS. The donated items are sold and the money helps people in our area who cannot afford their electric bill or medication. I also donate to a place near my house that collects money for our local animal shelter. I love that these items will bring help to people and fur babies.

I will share with you what has worked for me:
Because I work forty plus hours a week away from my house and take care of my mother in laws needs outside of her assisted living center, I don’t have a lot of time to invest in a huge decluttering that would include every room, closet, garage and basement. If you have time for that, great!!! So here is what I did

1. Right after Christmas I collected several empty boxes from work. I put those in my basement and whenever I had a free hour or even thirty minutes I would work on filling them with things I needed to get rid of. Small bits of time really add up. And it makes the job not so overwhelming.


2. I went through my closet in my bedroom first. I did not even gather any of my husband’s clothes I did only mine at this point. I went through the clothes piece by piece and placed what I didn’t, couldn’t or wouldn’t wear into large bags.


3. I then went through the clothes a second time and looked for stained t shirts old scarves and Pjs and things I knew I wouldn’t wear or donate and I threw those out. (One time I almost got the bags mixed up. Don’t do that)


4. I went to SAMS once a week with a trunk or car filled with bags and boxes. The first three weeks were only clothes and shoes. I am still going every week.


5. I then started in my basement and started filling the boxes. I had several boxes of books, magazines and household items. I took those in and now have another load in my car ready to go. I usually go on Wednesday when I meet my sisters in town for Sister Lunch.


6. Last Sunday I cleaned out a closet near the laundry room. This closet had gotten so bad we would just open it and stuff things in and slam the door before everything came crashing out. It took two hours to clean it out. I threw away two bags of things that we could no longer use, I discovered a ton of cleaning supplies, and I found a box of things to donate. Now the closet looks so nice I just stand in front of it with the door open gazing adoringly at it. My husband walks by shaking his head at me.

7. Before I make a purchase I ask myself if I really need it, or do I already have it. I shop what I have first.

8. I go through my pantry before going to the grocery store. I had so much waste and clutter in my pantry because of this. I often joked that I could live out of my pantry for a month without buying anything.

9. After I have totally finished with the purging I will keep a box in my car and one in the basement and I will continue to get rid of the things I don’t need or use. I don’t want to get so bogged down with items that I don’t need that I can’t find a starting point to get rid of them.

10. Stay focused this is an ongoing process.

It feels so wonderful to start seeing spaces where once there was only clutter. I feel lighter, more focused and free!!!!! WHOO HOOO!!!!! Let me know what works for you.

Always remember

Love your day your way

In The Days of COVID

Hello friends,

I have been in a bit of a funk lately. A good friend of mine has COVID, She was diagnosed two weeks ago, and I had been around her for a few days before she was diagnosed. As soon as I heard she was positive I felt that familiar worry start to creep in. I have been monitoring myself carefully. I also stayed away from Mark as much as possible. We can do this easily because we have such different work schedules. Also I got a new TV for Christmas for my upstairs den and we added HULU. I am a little ashamed to tell you how much time I have spent catching up on all the shows I have heard about for so long.

My friend who has COVID is very sick and has pneumonia. She is starting to feel a little better but the recovery is slow. It’s scary seeing someone so young and vibrant so sick.

The cold hard truth is, we are probably around many more people than we realize that are COVID positive. I wear a mask when I am out and I follow all the other precautions. I only go to the grocery store and usually do the online shopping for that. I did venture out yesterday to Hobby Lobby in Maryville, about 45 minutes from my house, to get a tool I needed for my earrings I am making. More about those earrings later.

But still we carry on because what else can we do? I was talking to a friend the other day and she said that some days she feels positive, some days she feels fed up with everything that is going on, and somedays she doesn’t really know how to feel. I think that pretty much sums up the way that we all feel. I think it’s hard to think about what we will do in the upcoming months because we really don’t know. I am a planner and it makes me realize that you just have to take life as it comes day by day, hour by hour, minute by minute.

So I have been hanging out at the house a lot. I’m trying to continue clearing out the clutter in my house. I just finished reading a really interesting book, The Year Of Less, by Cait Flanders who calls herself a binge consumer turned mind consumer. It was a really good book and I highly recommend it. It helped me to understand that I don’t need all of the things in my house just because I “think I need them”. Maybe I think I need them because I have always had them. So what? In this book Cait actually made a commitment to herself not to purchase anything for a year, other than groceries and toiletries. She put her money into saving for things that she really enjoyed like traveling. Before she made a purchase she first went to the things she already had in her closets. It has made me really mindful of what I need and don’t need to buy.

Weeds? I don’t care I love the muted winter colors.
We have lots of these squirrels’ nests in the trees.
Walking the babies and enjoying being outside is always a pick-me-up.
Look what I found at Hobby Lobby, 100% Merino Wool and very reasonably priced. I wanted all of it. But I did refrain because I already have a lot of yarn at home that needs to be knitted. But I may still be in trouble just knowing how close it is.
TVA ( Tennessee Valley Authority), drops the lake level every winter. It is really low right now.

I had the weekend to myself. I did some reading and working on a Valentine’s cross stitch. I baked some bread and walked with the babies. The usual. I like the usual. Not everyone is having that luxury right now.

Just look what is blooming. It gives me hope and promise.

I feel ashamed saying I am in a funk when my friend is so sick. I can’t really do anything for her but check on her every day, and try to be there for her. I continue to pray that my family stays safe and healthy and we get through this COVID crisis and things return to somewhat normal for us.

How is your weekend going so far?

Have a wonderful week and always remember

Love your day your way!!!!!