Hello friends,  I hope you have had a wonderful Thanksgiving Day!! Something happened this week and has made me realize how wonderful my life is and  just how much I appreciate everything and everyone in my life.  I wanted to share with you.

Stock Photo

My mother in law lives in an Assisted Living facility.  She has been there for a little over a year.  There are probably about thirty people who live there. These are people who may need a little assistance and can’t totally live on their own.  The people there are of various ages from 62 to over 100 years old.

The “Village” as we call it is beautiful. Each room is like a small apartment with a bathroom and sitting area and a small kitchen area.  So each resident can eat in their room or go to a dining room where everyone is served.

Several times a month I go and have lunch with my mother in law.  Each resident has their own table that they share with three other people.  Some of the tables are full and some are not. Addie, ( not her real name) sits at my mother in law’s table.  She is 95 years old.  She is really unbelievable. Other than not being able to walk and needing  a wheelchair  to get around she is in really good health.  Her memory is amazing and she keeps up with all current events.  She doesn’t wear her hair like a lot of the other ladies. Her hair is cut in a short bob and it is a beautiful solid white color.  She wears two plastic tortoise shell combs to hold her bangs back.  Although her voice is soft and whispery she loves to talk and talk. She always asks me about my job and if I have been busy.  She is very inquisitive.  Her manners are impeccable. My mother in law told me that some of the other residents don’t like to talk to Addie because they can’t understand what she is saying.  She said she stays by herself in her room a lot.

A few days ago I was eating lunch with my mother in law and Addie and we were talking about Thanksgiving.  I ask Addie if she was going somewhere to be with her family for Thanksgiving.  I know she has a son who lives in Georgia and another somewhere an hour or so away.  She said ” well I have been invited to Georgia but it is a long drive and someone will have to come and get me and take me there and then bring me back here. She looked sort of wistful for a moment and said” You know I am good right here.  I am in a nice safe place.  I have food and people around me.  I have everything I need right here so it is o.k. if I just stay here.  She seemed content with that.

Once when Addie and I were talking she told me about her life.  She lost her mother when she was fourteen years old.  That left Addie, her dad, her four year old brother and an older brother.  Addie’s dad had to work to make a living for his family.  He hired two young girls to take care of the four year old brother so that Addie and her older brother could return to school.  Her dad believed education was everything.  The two girls that were hired to take care of Addie’s little brother were very mean to him and physically abused him.  When Addie and her dad found out what was going on they stopped the girls from coming and Addie said she would quit school and stay home with her brother. Her dad was upset that Addie would not be attending school and he made Addie promise that as soon as her brother started school she would also return to school.

Addie at the age of fourteen cooked and cleaned and took care of all of her family.  Her life was not easy for a fourteen year old but she felt like she was doing what she needed to do.  When Addie’s brother started to school she returned to school as well.  Addie continued with her education and became a nurse.  She married a man who was a preacher and they had several children and lived in several different states throughout their married life.

When Addie told me that she was content and happy with where she was it really made me think. Here is a woman who has been through so much in her life. She is happy with what she has. I know that her family rarely visits, and she desperately misses her husband who recently passed away, BUT. She is content and happy and makes the most of every day. She wears the sweetest smile and is always positive. I just love her and she is definitely someone we can all learn a lesson from.  Why can’t we all be a little more like Addie, thankful for what we have in our lives.

I thought about Addie all week.   It made me realize I am happy and thankful for everything I have in my life.  Thank you Addie.

Happy Thanksgiving friends I hope you have had a wonderful day!!

Always remember:

Love your day your way!!

Hello friends I have so been enjoying the cooler weather. The leaves have turned a little.  This year we just didn’t have the beautiful fall foliage that East Tennessee can be known for.  A lack of rain and the heat made the leaves dry and brittle and lots of them fell off of the trees before they even started turning colors. This past week it has been cooler and lots of fog in the mornings on my way into work.  I love taking pictures in the fog it gives everything an eerie but soft look.

I got all of these pictures this past week on my way into work.  I have been traveling so much lately it actually seems like a pleasure to do something familiar even if it is going to work.  People probably think, who is that crazy lady pulling over to take pictures?

When I have to be gone a lot I start thinking about what my favorite day would look like.  A day when I could do whatever I wanted to do all day long.  I guess sometimes when I am gone from home thinking about what I will do when I have that down time is what gets me through.  So here goes with some of the things I would do.  Yes they are all about me and that might seem a bit selfish but these are things that I would love to do.  Sometimes I think you have to be selfish with the time you spend for you.

1. I would spend time with my loved ones.  Thinking about a day when I could spend time talking and sharing and just reconnecting with loved ones sounds like heaven.
2. I would create.  I would knit, or paint or make something special.  Sometimes when I am stressed and needing to get out of my head I will bake or sew or knit and that puts me totally into the moment.
3. I would read.  I love books and reading.  I love to lose myself in the character. It almost feels like I am right there with them.
4. I would take pictures.  I would drive around and go from place to place pulling over when I see something that catches my eye.  Much the same way that I did with the photos on my way to work.  But I would have a lot of time and wouldn’t be in a hurry.
5. I would go somewhere new.  I love visiting new places that I have never seen, and experiencing new things. This is so exciting to me.

These are just a few of the things I would do if I had a day to do whatever I wanted.  So now tell me what does your favorite day look like? And when will this day happen?

Remember no matter what
Love your day your way

Tuesday I had an appointment with my doctor for my annual physical. A week ago I went to the office for lab work for my upcoming Appointment. I have the blood work about a week before so my doctor can go over the results with me during my visit.

I was concerned about my weight. I knew I had gained weight during the last few years. And as it is with many things as you get older losing weight has become really hard.  It seemed like when I was twenty I could lose ten pounds in two weeks. Wow those days are no more. I guess I have just been comfortable in my own skin and really still am to a great extent.  I don’t like the extra weight when it comes to fitting into clothes or liking the way I look in a particular outfit sometimes. But I guess it hasn’t bothered me enough to really do something about it.  I feel like I have had a lot of other things in my life to deal with.

UNTIL, I noticed that my knees were starting to bother me more, I wasn’t working out like I should.I am getting older I noticed I am stiffer when I get out of bed in the mornings or after I sit for a long time.  Not moving makes that worse.  Just a few years ago I was training for a half marathon.  What happened?  Well at that time I injured my knee, stopped working out, didn’t do the marathon, and basically just gave myself a freebie not to work out for awhile.  Unfortunately the “while” turned into a long while.  And the extra pounds started piling up.

Now don’t get me wrong. For most of my life I have been plus sized, chubby, big boned, whatever you want to call it I have always been above my normal weight range,  whatever in the hell that might be.  You know most people are only in that weight range when they are in kindergarten.  I probably wasn’t then either.  That is me. I was never picked for sports or cheerleading but I was just as comfortable, more so really, sitting in the library reading a book.  Do I like myself thinner?  Well yes I do but as I said I guess I have reached an age where I am comfortable with me.  Until it starts causing me joint issues and not feeling like myself and not wanting to do things like I used to. Or until I realize I am not taking control of my weight and it could really get out of hand and cause blood pressure and cholesterol and diabetes issues.

I have been on a diet most of my life.  I have lost hundreds if not thousands of pounds throughout my lifetime.  Thousands is probably more like it.  Every time I have an event a few months away I think to myself well that gives me plenty of time to lose about 20 pounds and wear that outfit in the back of my closet.  But you know that doesn’t usually happen.

I realize I could have a lot of health issues that could be worse than having to lose some weight.   No blood pressure problems, no cholesterol problems.  Everything is within range.   But I do know that carrying extra weight, not exercising and eating the wrong foods could change all of that as I get older. Older than I am now.

I could blame my weight on a crazy work schedule with lots of travel, being a care giver and not having a lot of extra time of my own, depression, anxiety, stress, any of these things or all of them can cause someone to eat mindlessly and just have the need to fill a void within themselves.

 

           The first picture was when I was about three and the second one was when I was about ten.  I will never forget being at the dentist when I was young and the assistant ask my mom if my cheeks were always that puffy or if they were swollen?  My mom said “no they are always like that”.  That memory has always stuck with me and made me self conscious of my chubby cheeks.  I still have them.  

So on Tuesday I went to the doctor’s office, I felt pretty good about myself.  I wasn’t even dreading the weigh in as bad as I usually do. I hadn’t weighed myself at home in weeks if not months.  I thought maybe I had even lost a little weight.  My body did feel different my clothes were still fitting o.k.

The nurse called my name, of course the first thing they do is lead you to the scales.  I didn’t even ask to remove my shoes.  I bravely stepped onto the scale and after she adjusted the weight thingies I almost passed out.  I literally stepped back and almost fell off the scale.  And then she said my weight in a loud voice like I hadn’t seen it on the medieval torture device scale.  I cringed and quickly looked around to see who else had heard her.  Dear Lord!!!!! It was terrible.  I couldn’t get that number out of my head. I guess the fact that I thought maybe I had lost some weight only to find out that was not true but I had actually gained!!!  It was too much.

Through the years my weight has fluctuated.  If you could look through my medical records you would see probably a 35-40 pound range over the past 20 years.  My closet has everything from a size 6 to a size 16.  I just shove them around as needed.

The doctor came in and went over my blood work with me.  Everything  looked great.   We discussed my weight, which was not great.   I had only gained five or ten pounds since the year before but I could see myself adding on year after year.

So we came up with a plan. My doctor doesn’t want me to try anything ridiculous and try to lose 10 pounds in a week, not that that would happen with me, he wants me to set a goal of a ten pound weight loss by the end of the year and add 150 minutes of exercise per week.  That may sound like a lot but it is only 30 minutes a day for 5 days, or less if you spread it out over 7 days.  I think that is doable until I get back in the swing of exercise and build up some muscle and endurance.  After the first three months we will look at the next goal.  Having a goal in sight helps me to stay focused.

Now please don’t get me wrong when you read this post.  I have seen many men and women with excess weight who are happy and comfortable in their skin.  I love them and think you go, good for you.  But I can only be comfortable with myself to a certain point and then I do have some self esteem issues.  Add in the joint pain and stiffness and that is just not the me I want to be. I feel that I should try to be the best me a I can be and that is what I want to do.   But you are you and you be the best YOU, you can be.

I will keep you posted on the progress.

Always remember to Love your day your way!!!!

 

Do you remember the last meal you ate?  Were you watching TV or scrolling through your phone?  Were you with a person having a conversation?  Do you remember what the food tasted like?  Was it good? was the flavor something out of this world or just meh?

O.K. do you remember the last conversation you had with someone?  your spouse? your child? your friend?  Do you remember how they looked? what their voice sounded like? Did they sound sad, happy? do you even remember what the conversation was about.

Do you pull up to your workplace or your house or wherever you may be going and discover you don’t remember anything about the drive.  You’re secretly thinking wow I hope I wasn’t speeding or I hope I didn’t run a stop light. Or worse.

We have all been guilty of not being mindful.  In this day and time with technology all around us I think we are getting worse at being mindful of what we are doing.  Even the good stuff.  Information overload is something we deal with constantly.  Sometimes when I am at work taking a work call I find myself closing my eyes so that I can focus on the person I am talking to.  If I don’t I find myself looking at my computer screen, or my phone, listening to what is going on in the background around me.  I know that when I am doing this I am not totally focusing on what is going on with that phone call. The person that I am talking to deserves my attention.

A few years ago when I was doing some travel shows I noticed this lack of focus had gotten particularly bad.  The shows were an opportunity for you to sell your location or attraction to potential clients.  You had about five minutes to sit down at a booth with a prospective client and give them your main selling points.  The booths were set up in rows and you sat at their booth across the table from the potential buyer.  In the meantime there was still the traffic of people walking behind you.  It was a bit distracting.  But what I noticed the last few times I did a show, was that the buyer instead of being focused on what I had to say,  and heck I don’t think it was that boring, was constantly watching what was going on in the isle behind me.  Their eyes would wander from mine to the people behind me. You would have thought Jason Momoa was walking by. Maybe something more interesting was going on in that conversation by those other people.  I started having less and less confidence in the shows. they were expensive and I didn’t feel I was getting what I needed to get from them.

Multitasking is the evil twin of mindfulness.  We are all trying to get more and more done so we’re on our phone while we’re watching TV, watching a ballgame, while trying to listen to the person in front of us talking to us.

Being mindful takes practice.  Start with being mindful when you eat.  This will not count when you rush through drive through and eat on your way home or on your way to the ball field or to your next stop.  Because then you are already multitasking.  We all do it. Sometimes we have to do it if we want to eat at all.  Life gets in the way and you do what you have to do.  I do it all the time. But start slow and practice and see if you don’t get more out of what you are doing.

I don’t have children but I know that I look back on when my nieces and nephews were  young and I was spending time with them.  I wish I had given them more of my attention and enjoyed everything they had to say and do.  I wish I had listened to my mom and dad and grandparents when they told family stories that I thought I had heard a hundred times and couldn’t stand to hear one more time.

Multitasking causes stress.  You may think you are getting more done but you are actually not getting anything completely finished because your mind is going in so many different directions.

As I said being mindful takes practice so start slow.  The next time you are doing laundry feel the clothes in your hands, feel the fabric, notice the warmth if the clothes just came out of the dryer.  When you are eating notice the texture and the flavor of the food.  When you are talking to someone, and this is something I learned from a good friend a few years ago, look that person directly in the eye, listen to their voice, hear what they are saying.  So many times what someone is truly telling you is in their eyes, the sound and range of their voice or the expression on their face.  If you are looking at your phone or something else going on around  you, you just might miss something very important.

So yes I think mindfulness is a lost art.  We are only here once so pay attention!!!

     I took this picture one morning on my way to work.  I looked over my shoulder while     driving down the road and saw this scene and had to turn around and go back to get it. I was late for work but it was totally worth it to me.  
    

Love your day your way