Those Three Little Words I Long To Hear.

There are a lot of words and phrases in the English language that are wonderful to hear. But there are three little words that make my heart sing. Can you guess what they are?

I love you. No it’s not that.

You’ve Lost weight. Great to hear, but no.

How are you? Nope

Way to go!!! No not even close.

Of course all of these things are wonderful to hear. The three little words that I long to hear, maybe not always but certainly more often than I do, are “I’ll handle that” Ahhhhh such sweet words. Yes Yes Yes!!!! take the pressure off of me, help me with what I’m doing, make my life easier. But whatever you do don’t make me have to ask for it.

The reason that I haven’t heard this more is actually my fault. I have been my own worst enemy. I never wanted to ask for help. I will do anything to keep from asking for help. I am always willing to help someone out even if it takes away from me. I get this from my dad. He was a very hard working man and he expected his children to work just as hard as he did. It was really hard to meet the standards that he sometimes set for us. Did you notice the word hard has appeared three times in this paragraph so far? But he was an amazing man who instilled wonderful values in me and all of my brothers and sisters. But he didn’t like to ask for help he looked at that as a weakness. So I grew up thinking I didn’t need to ask for help either. No matter what. If I did I was being weak.

I have always been a very independent person. I am even independent of my husband, choosing to make my own decisions and not consulting him in a lot of things. My husband doesn’t have a problem with this. He is the same way. The last car I bought I did it totally on my own. I went to different car lots and test drove the cars. My husband never seemed to have the time and I didn’t want to wait so I just did it myself. I also take care of all of the car related maintenance and most house maintenance issues. That is just the way it has always been.

My husband and I have no children and I think if we did it would have made things a little different as far as having to share the responsibilities with each other concerning children. Maybe not, who knows.

I am next to the youngest of seven children and for some reason my brothers and sisters have always looked to me to handle most family related issues. Not necessarily big issues but just family get togethers and things like that. An example of this: My family is large and when we have a get together we may have thirty plus people show up. We always plan our meals and who will bring what etc. etc. You know I am from the south and food is a big deal. Anyway, whenever we had these huge dinners everyone would automatically assume I would coordinate everything. I would get in touch with everyone, plan the meal and let everyone know what to bring. They would always await my call to let them know what to bring. One Thanksgiving I decided I had had enough. I would not tell anyone what to bring and they could coordinate everything on their own and bring whatever they wanted. Well that was the year we had seven bowls of corn and not much else. So that was the last time that happened. I may be exaggerating a little there was probably on five bowls of corn.

With all of this said you might think I wouldn’t want to hear anyone say “I’ll handle that” but as I said it is actually music to my ears especially if I don’t have to ask. Even more so as I have gotten older and more comfortable in my own skin. I am more comfortable standing back and letting someone else take over. Because hey!! My time is just as important as anyone’s. And I hate to use this phrase but sometimes it is best when I get out of my own way. And if I ask for help the world won’t open up and swallow me. So I am trying to NOT be in charge so often and to be honest I find that things work out just fine and many times even better. WHAT???? I do regret that it has taken me so many years to learn this lesson but better late than never right? So when I am with someone and they tell me “I’ll handle that” I say O.K.

The honeysuckle vines are blooming like crazy and smelling wonderful.

Love your day your way!!!!

Three Days In Asheville

On Monday I headed out for Asheville North Carolina. Asheville is about three hours from where I live. I had a meeting with a group of tourism people. We meet three times a year. Each meeting is themed around a particular topic and we also get to visit other tourism attractions.

I have been to Asheville many times throughout the years and I love it. This city has something for everyone.

My meeting didn’t start until noon on Monday so I didn’t have to leave until Monday morning. I made the trip easily traffic was not bad. I was really excited because I would be seeing my tourism buddies that I only get to see a few times a year.

The meeting and our lodging was at the Cambria Downtown Asheville. And it was downtown right in the middle of things. The service there was outstanding. Being in tourism myself it’s always something I am very conscious of. They have customer service down pat. This is a fairly new hotel. There is a restaurant and bar on the 4th floor and the food is amazing. More about that in just a minute.

I was on the 11th floor and the view was breathtaking. The hotel is very modern with all new amenities. The view was great both day and night.

Our meeting started at noon with a light lunch served in the meeting room. We had a brief bit of business and then a speaker who was great!!! He was one of those speakers who keeps you interested and made two hours seem like ten minutes.

We stayed at the hotel for dinner. The hotel has a bar and restaurant on the 4th floor, Hemmingway’s Cuba Rooftop Restaurant and Bar, and the food there was ahhhhhmazing. The rooftop bar was just perfect with a light breeze blowing and another spectacular view of the city. We had drinks there before dinner. For dinner I ordered the frita cubana, seasoned ground beef and pork sliders with onions and shoestring potatoes, and for a side, congri. I was a little taken aback by the color of the congri but it tasted fantastic.

After dinner we went on the Lazoom Party Bus. If you have been to Asheville you may have been on the Lazoom Bus. This is a comedy bus that takes you through different parts of the city. Your guide is hilarious. This particular ride had a haunted theme. We drove all over the city for an hour and our guide pointed out different parts of the city that were supposedly haunted. At several of the stops a ghost would get on the bus and make jokes and interact with the group. It turns out the same person played the role of all the ghosts. He was really talented. http://www.lazoomtours.com

The next day we did the touristy thing and visited several attractions. We started out at The Biltmore Estate. It is beautiful. I have been here so many times I like to pretend it is my second home. It is hard to believe that this used to be a private home to the Vanderbilts. Biltmore currently has a display of period costumes throughout the house. When you visit each room there is a mannequin with the costume from that time period. It was really interesting. http://www.biltmore.com

And of course the gardens were beautiful there were so many different things in bloom.

We also visited the Blue Ridge National Heritage Center where we saw a video about local artisans and then on to the Southern Highland Craft Guild and Folk Art Center where we were able to see some of the handmade items. All of the items on display were for sale. I probably could have stayed there all day. The talent displayed at the Folk Art Center just blows me away. http://www.Southernhighlandguild.org/folk-art-center

That night for dinner we went to the Sierra Nevada Brewing Company. You just have to check this one out for yourself http://www.sierranevada.com  There is a brewery where you can do tours, an amazing restaurant and you can even play corn hole there. Again the food and beer was great!!!

On Wednesday we had meetings until noon and then everyone went our separate ways. Our meetings and the events we attend are always super casual. I always get chilly in the meeting rooms. I took a couple of photos of what I wore to the meetings. I usually wear the same thing into the evenings and maybe just add a different jacket or sweater.

This shirt is the one I bought when I was in Orlando at Macy’s on super clearance sale. I think it was $19.99. I love it. It is so comfy. The vest and shoes are from Kohl’s and the pants are from Cato’s.

This shirt is also from Kohl’s and the sweater is from Target. Same shoes and pants I try to pack light when I am traveling and if possible wear my pants or jeans a couple of times. And we do so much walking I have to have comfortable shoes.

But probably the best part of the trip was on my way home. I was able to stop and have lunch with a precious friend of mine. Laura, I don’t get to see her very often. She used to live in my area and through the years we have done a lot of fun things together. She moved to Asheville about three years ago and this was the first time I had seen her since she moved. The thing about a wonderful friend like Laura is that you can not see each other for a long long time but when you do its like no time has passed at all. Now Laura is moving out west and it will probably be a long time before I see her again but I know when we do we will pick up right where we left off.

So all in all a short but fun trip. Catching up with Laura was the best. It was good to get back home to the familiar and my own bed of course. Have a wonderful weekend.

Love your day your way!!!

Another Trip Around the Sun and some fun!!!

Last Sunday was not only Easter but it was also my Birthday and my wedding Anniversary ( I know I got married on my Birthday) I guess I wasn’t thinking clearly when I did that. Two celebrations in one, what?? But anyway, it all happened on Easter this year. Annnnd throw a family get together for Easter and my Birthday into the mix and this is what you get. But first let me take you back a couple of months ago.

A couple of months ago, while having our weekly “Sister Lunch” and solving all the world’s problems, me and my sisters were talking about having an Easter get together with all of the family. You know I have a very large family right? six brothers and sisters make for a lot of in-laws and nieces and nephews. So I said “It’s spring we can have the get together at my house.” We started thinking about a menu. For Easter, we usually do a cookout at my sister Sandy’s house and my brother in law grills hamburgers and hot dogs.

I was thinking that this would be a good excuse to buy a new grill. Mark and I do not grill out a lot. We probably haven’t grilled in years. My husband and I have a crazy work schedule and we rarely even get to eat dinner together. Mark works a twelve hour shift and alternates days off. Usually by the time he gets home from work I have already eaten dinner. I don’t like to eat too late.

So the plan was hatched and we would have our Easter get together at my house. I was thinking to myself, sure I have a couple of months to make my yard look good, clean my house from top to bottom, buy some new deck furniture, and a grill. Being the procrastinator that I am you can imagine how it went down. Fast forward to two weeks ago and I am thinking to myself, I still have a week to clean my house from top to bottom, do all the yard work that needs to be done, buy a grill, luckily we had bought the new deck furniture but we hadn’t put it together, and get ready for the Easter Birthday family get together. just to explain myself here in case you think I’m acting nutty about my family coming, yes I know I really am. I live at least thirty minutes away from most of my family and to be honest they just don’t come to my house that much. They think I live in the sticks. So when they do come to visit I like for my home to look especially nice. And then out of the blue my husband, very nonchalantly. says “oh by the way that’s my Sunday to work” WHAT?? well there goes the grilling I said to myself. So the menu changed from grilling to the traditional ham for Easter dinner. A new menu was put together. My family contributes all the side dishes and some desserts. I would cook the ham.

I did find some time to make this Easter wreath

One week down and counting. So the week before the big event. My husband did all the yard work which included mowing, weeding and trimming up some bushes. It still wasn’t everything that needed to be done but at this point we were happy with it. I started cleaning the inside of the house. Let me mention that I still had to work everyday that week and we had to put the new deck furniture together.

The Friday before the Easter Birthday extravaganza finds me working late and not stopping on my way home to get groceries as I had planned. I had planned to do the grocery shopping on Friday night and clean house on Saturday and make an Easter cake and do last minute preparations. But the groceries didn’t get bought until Saturday morning. I live about fifteen minutes from town so it is never a quick trip. I did get the Easter cake made and it turned out really nice. My niece and I had seen the cake on Pinterest. It was blue and a little complicated so I did my own version.

Sunday came and it was Easter and my Birthday and Anniversary and I felt guilty with all the running around crazy and forgetting the real reason for the Easter season. And the fact that I was fortunate enough to be a year older and have another year of marriage with my husband and have all of my wonderful family coming to visit on this day was everything. So I said STOP IT GIRL!!!! everything is fine. Have fun!!!!

Birthday/Anniversary flowers my husband sent to my work.

And I did. The day was great and we had so much fun and food and talking and laughing. It was so worth all the work. Was my house as clean as I wanted it? No. But you know what? that didn’t matter I was with my loved ones and they didn’t care either.

Even Scruffy and Molly enjoyed everyone. Kitty Kitty flew up the stairs as soon as the first person arrived and did not come down again until they all left.
Poor Scruffy was exhausted

Love you day your way!!!

Do You Always Know When You’re Being a B*tch?

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Hello everyone,

I feel like this month is speeding by. I love April and it’s also my Birthday month. My Birthday this year is on Easter I don’t think that has ever happened before. Not that I can remember anyway. I also got married on my Birthday, don’t ask me why it seemed like a good idea at the time, so it will also be my wedding anniversary!!!! Wow so much will be going on next week. We are having a big Easter get together at my house next Sunday and I wanted some new deck furniture and that is how this blog post came to be.

I like to keep it real with you and I am not one of those bloggers who constantly blog sunshine and lollipops. So today I am asking you, whether you are woman or man, do you always know when you are acting ugly and rude? can you stop it once you have started? Do you always realize when you are being a bitch? Can you make yourself stop?

This morning me and my husband went to Home Depot in a nearby town. I had spotted some deck furniture I wanted there. We looked around a little but it seemed like they had everything we wanted. The bistro type chairs and table had a sign on them that indicated they had two left in stock. The large umbrella was on the shelf where we could see it. So a very nice sales associate came over to help. She didn’t know a lot about the large umbrella we wanted to purchase but maybe she didn’t always work in that department, maybe she was new. I don’t know. She seemed to want to steer us to ordering online and picking it up there at a later date. She said we would have more options. Well we really didn’t need options we knew what we wanted and the signs on the items indicated they were in stock. We had a big truck to haul it home in. Why would we wait? right? She did say the table and chairs were in a box on the back wall and she would get someone with a lift to get them down. She checked her device and said they would be brought up to the front of the store and we were to pull around. She said this could take a few minutes. She wrote the numbers of each item on a piece of paper and we took that to the register to check out. Once we checked out we brought the truck to the front of the store where they would load the items. The same sales assistant came out just about five minutes later and we were thinking, wow!!! that was fast.

I noticed the cart she was pulling looked rather sparse for everything we had gotten. She said the table and chairs actually weren’t available. I was thinking then why did that not come up in the system when we paid for everything? I did ask her that question and she said she was not sure. She told us she would call a store in north Knoxville to see if they had one in stock. This is where I felt my bitch mode start to take over. I didn’t want to be ugly and I guess I was just disappointed that it hadn’t worked out and we were now going to have to drive to north Knoxville to pick it up. Because we live in the boonies, and I know that is my choosing and no one else’s, getting to Knoxville for us is about an hour and ten minute drive. Of course we were already a little closer so it wouldn’t take quite that long.

That didn’t matter to me. What mattered to me is they told me they had not one but two in stock. Now they were saying they didn’t, after I had paid for it of course, and I would have to go somewhere else to get it. So I said “well obviously it doesn’t matter if they tell you they have it or not because you “thought” you had it here and now you don’t. What is going to keep us from driving to Knoxville to pick it up and them tell us they don’t have it either even though their system showed that they did?” I thought this was a valid question. I also muttered several things of questionable content half-way under my breath and was pretty much acting like a spoiled brat. I’m not proud of it.

My husband Mark has often told me it’s not what I say but how I say it to people that truly makes them mad at me. I felt this time was both!!! And of course my husband looked like he wanted to crawl under the truck because of the way I was acting. I could almost feel myself step out of my body and watch me being an utter bitch about a dang table and chairs!!! She called the other store and yes they said they had it and would pull it and bring it to will-call and we could pick it up there. She took our name. She then told me I would have to come back in the store and get a will-call ticket to take to the other store. I went to wait in the truck because it was raining.

I told the sales associate I knew it wasn’t her fault and to be honest it wasn’t. Someone overlooked the table and chairs the first time. She was only going by the information she was given.

Mark comes over to the window and says “guess what they found a table and chairs here!!” Well that made me feel really bad about the way I had acted. We loaded everything up and took it home. But I guess I had a bit of a bitch hangover from the way I had acted. I went home and took a three hour nap.

I say all of this because I am just wondering if you ever feel yourself being unreasonable? and when you feel disappointed or upset do you sometimes turn to bitch mode? this is where you actually feel yourself step outside of your body and watch yourself. You may not want to say the things you do but by golly they are going to come out of your mouth one way or the other. I hope I am not the only one. Mark could stand there all day and not be frustrated or angry with them. He probably wouldn’t even get mad if they sent us home with the wrong boxes. They didn’t luckily. But I am not that person.

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My Happy Place