Sunday, March 4, 2018
Several weeks ago I twisted my knee. It got much better after a week or so but I went to the track and did a pretty rough two miles and reinjured it. After walking around for several days looking like Jack Nicholson in The Shining, you know where he is chasing Danny through the snowy maze at the end, without the axe of course, I decided to go to my doctor to have it checked out. Turns out Doctor thinks it is a sprain and will heal in several weeks. I have a brace and am elevating it as much as possible. It does seem to be getting better. But during my doctor visit I had an epiphany. I have had several during my lifetime. You know those AH HA moments when you wonder what the crap am I doing?
The main reason I put off going to my doctor is because, don’t laugh, I didn’t want to get on those doctor scales. You know they always weigh you more. That’s one of my favorite stories, I always weigh less on my scales, um yeah that’s it. I have at times closed my eyes and told the nurse not to tell me what my weight is because I try to have a positive body image and I didn’t want anything to ruin that.
However, now they give you that darned three page print out of everything including your weight and you know that at some point you’re going to look.
So when the nurse called my name I hobbled to the back trying to look pitiful like I really didn’t need to have to step on those scales. But noooo they have also added two bars to help you pull yourself onto the scales if you need a little extra help. I usually take my shoes off but I had boots on so I thought what the heck. It was not good.
Over the last two years I have gained and lost several pounds with gaining winning out on me. I tend to be an emotional eater and man have my emotions been going crazy. I have lost three siblings in less than two years and have probably gained 30-40 pounds if I am truly honest with myself. Its not just the weight. I admire anyone who is proud of their body at any size and continues to eat healthy. When I start to gain weight I tend to spiral downhill with the exercise and other good habits as well.
I think that all women and men are beautiful regardless of weight or any other features. What makes a person beautiful is much more than that.
But my blood pressure was up and I know when I get my blood work done my cholesterol probably will be too. High blood pressure and high cholesterol seem to go up when my weight does. Also by not moving around as much as I should I tend to be stiffer that is probably what resulted in the knee injury to start with.
So I said to myself this is ridiculous my health could be at stake here. I only have one kidney (I’ll tell you more about that at another time) I need to get myself in shape. I guess I am telling you this so I will be accountable and show you the progress. Share with me what works for you I would love to hear it. A thirty pound weight loss is my first goal. I actually need to lose more than that but I am comfortable at that weight.
Anyway I started that day and have really been watching my food intake, carbs, etc. I still can’t work out a lot yet but when my knee is better I will ease back into walking.
On another note did you see the moon last night. It wasn’t quite full but it was beautiful with a lots of different colors.
I love these Bradford Pear trees I know they are not strong trees and they usually don’t last long but I love them. They are always the first trees to bloom here in the south and that is always a first sign of spring. These are along a driveway that I pass everyday on my way to work.
I love the way the early morning sun shines through the windows and casts shadows on the floor. I think Scruffy likes it too.
The sun is shining today but colder weather is predicted this week. I am off to St. Louis in the A.M. for work so I will be inside most of the week anyway.