Feel Your Feels

A few weeks ago I was at a meeting that I attend a few times a year. I spent some time with a friend that I don’t get to see very often. When we do get together for a few days we have a lot of talking and catching up to do.

This woman is one of the strongest women I know. She has been through so much in her short life. Her husband is currently sick and facing cancer for the second time. They are in their thirties. She is always very positive and upbeat and smiling and never hesitates to ask what is going on in your life and then she listens to every word and remembers it months later. She is a very special person. But she told me something the last time I saw her that has really stuck with me even more than usual. I asked her how she could stay so positive and happy all the time. She said you just have to feel your feels. You can’t push them aside and pretend they don’t exist. If you do then your feelings will become overwhelming You have to feel what you are feeling when you feel it. Don’t bury it. Wow!!! I had to let that sink it.

Webster’s dictionary has several definitions for the word feel(ing) a few that stuck with me : A consciousness or vague awareness, The general state of consciousness considered independently of particular sensations, thoughts etc, a physical sensation not connected with sight, hearing, taste or smell. After reading that, you can see consciousness and sensations are of course a large part of feeling what you feel. That’s scary.

I have always been the type of person that never wanted to feel my feels. When I was growing up we were never supposed to show our feelings. My dad didn’t want us to cry or be upset about anything. I am not sure why. Maybe because there were seven of us kids and if we were all showing exactly what we felt at the exact same time it could have been a little crazy. I do tend to be a bit dramatic but when it comes to feeling hard core emotional feelings it is something I try to avoid. Ways to avoid feelings are not always good for you: overeating, indulging in things you don’t need, too much screen time, zoning out on Netflix, scrolling TikTok and Instagram for hours are all ways that you can block having to feel anything. All of this can also lead to hypertension, anxiety, depression, and the list goes on and on.

So what is so scary about feeling what you truly feel. Will you cry? scream? be bitchy? hard to deal with? be sad? SO WHAT!!! Isn’t that what life is about anyway. Some of those things I can easily give in to but some I can’t. It’s hard for me to say that I am sad or disappointed or scared. I guess I think I will appear weak or unlikeable but at my age I care a lot less about that than I used to.

So to wrap all of this up and put a bow on it I guess what I am trying to say is this: If feeling what you feel when you feel it, or as my friend so eloquently put it, feel your feels, can help you to deal with reality and just life in general then why don’t we do it? Maybe you do. I hope you do. I will too.

Always remember

Love your day your way!!!!!

4 thoughts on “Feel Your Feels

  1. Your friend is a wise woman, Lisa. I grew up in a household where we were mocked if we cried or showed any kind of vulnerability. Unfortunately for me, trying not to cry just makes it more likely that I will cry. Now in my 60s, I still struggle with anxiety and with embarrassment if I cry in public. Fortunately, I have a kind, sympathetic husband who believes that if I feel like crying, then I should. So … it’s not as bad as it used to be, but it’s still a struggle.

    Liked by 1 person

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